April 16th, in Virginia technology institute, one student killed 33 students in total. The first question that comes up is ‘who’ did it. The second question is ‘why’ he did it.
The answer for first question was Cho Seung Hui, a quite student in Virginia technology institute. The answer for second question is seemingly ambiguous. Cho Seung Hui says that he was a martyr, who sacrificed his life to express his anger towards hedonism in modern society. Some says that he was mentally retarded. However, I believe that his motivation to kill was hatred towards the people.
After the frightful incident, many facts were known by the interview. Cho Seung Hui was a lonely, quite student trough out his life. He did not had any friends whom he could share his thoughts. His inclusive characteristic naturally made him an outsider. Being alone for so long, he did not had any hole to let go of his anger. I believe that he was angry bout people who did not wanted to get to know him better. He must have been angry at himself for not being same as the other people.
I can understand the wound that Cho Seung Hui has in his heart. I had been an ‘outsider’ for a year in middle school. When I come in the morning no body says hello to me. Even though I would like to talk about the TV show, with my classmates, I cannot. When it is lunch time, I used to sit by myself, listening to other kids chat with joy, and feel lonely. I went to Canada after that incident and came back. I studied hard and went to Daeil foreign language high school, but the rumors of me being outsider in my middle school kept haunted me. At that time, I used to hate everyone around me, because I thought they disliked me and ignored me too. However, I did not give up to overcome the situation. I did not stop to open my heart and let my teachers, counselors and some of my classmates to know what kind of situation I am in. With my restless effort, I over came this situation and happier than my freshmen year at my high school.
Although I am lucky to be very exclusive and out going person and over came this, Choi Seung Hui and other students who commit suicide because of this hatred and depression failed to fight through it. Actually, it can be very hard to even admitting that oneself is an outsider. Eventually, most students do not open their heart and ask for help. One who feels alone in a group (for example, like a school,) consequently feels hatred. Most of the times, they do some weird things to draw attention of other people. However, that weird action causes others to actually dislike them even more.
Like this, the hatred that one feels by alienation or victimization cannot be relinquished by the efforts of the one who feels it. All the people who surrounds him or her has some responsibility to be open with that person and try to help. People should not be indifferent to the outsider of his or her group, since it is what causes the outsiders to hate ,kill or suicide.
For me, the incident of April 16th was not mere a tragic event caused by psycho, but a result of letting our neighbors, and other people around us to feel alone in the world, and as a result of being indifferent to the outsiders. I would like to prevent people to be so cruel to let other people to die in loneliness. I would like to be some one who could change the minds of people who think “Oh, he is different from us – let’s not interact with him” or “It’s OK to say what ever I want to him because he does not have friends to stand up for him anyway.” I would like to be friends for all loners in this world – a friend who could stand up for them when they are hurt by people who think it is OK to do whatever they want to do to loners. For now, I would like to be a psychiatrist to achieve this dream.
